A new chapter begun

Like the early morning sun

With it's fresh new start

I am loving this part

Finally feeling joy

After meeting this boy

Genuine, funny and kind

Freely speaks his mind

We're talking for ages

One of my favourite stages

Getting to know one another

And not being a mother

But we talk about them

each of our children

Their ages, their names

The fun and the games

And how it is so nice

To not be throwing a dice

But instead having a drink

And being able to think

Sharing our pasts

And how things didn't last 

But grateful to be here

With a Pimms and a beer

Exchanging a smile

Not felt this in a while

Letting my guard down

And replacing that frown

Allowing myself to be seen

Because this boy, I'm keen 

It feels easy, it's nice

And we've only dated twice

And I already cannot wait

Until our third date

My heart is a flutter

My words all a stutter

His kiss goodbye on my lips

Tastes of our alcohol sips

But oh how good to feel

Someone like this is real

I am loving this part.

The calmness of an empty house
The warming coffee first thing, but taken back to bed
A hot shower after a trying day

A few nice things lately.

My brain is full, it's going to explode
There's a lot to take in, an overload.
Words and words just pour out of you
If only they were followed with action too.

Untruths, Scramble, Hurt, Deceit

Your words and promises list like a receipt.

You made me feel worthy, said all the right things

Excitedly plan time away, to live like kings.

And of course those plans soon disappeared

Quicker than even I had first feared.

I should have known, trusted my gut

Though my heart took over, avoiding the 'but'.

I wanted to believe you, the 'you and me'

But it was just a mere wild fantasy.

Then came the first cancelled plan

Releasing those worms from the can.

Double booked, forgot, not feeling it

How did I think we could possibly fit?!

And yet I, again, ignored my intuition

Trusted your plans would come into fruition.

But they never did, you didn't follow through

And I was left unwanted, discarded by you.

So now I'm having to start all over again

Pick myself up, unscramble my brain.

Patch up my heart, convince myself it's not me

Just another man with no accountability.