Todays weather feels like a real metaphor with what's going on inside lately. The forceful wind that breaks twigs, knocks over bins, brings down fences. My hair lashing into my face, grit going into my eyes, pushing the pushchair and walking against the strong wind making the journey twice as hard as it already is.
But on the walk back home, I turn a corner and the wind pushes me a little, the thick grey clouds break ever so slightly and create a tiny patch of pale blue, the little pink buds and the little pale flowers starting to blossom on the trees refuse to let go.
And perhaps the huge gusts of wind carry away those troubles for a short while, carry it way up high, swirling above the rooftops and disperse above the clouds into invisible dust, helping me to forget.
For a while anyway.
I struggle, alot, with being strong enough to remind myself to pull it together, to let things go, to breathe. I struggle alot. Because some days it is all just so heavy and I feel so much that I feel nothing. And to cry and to wallow comes naturally, easier but harder at the same time.
I just want you to know, that if you struggle to pull yourself out too, you're not alone. The journey might take longer but slowly we will get through, and the days will feel like gentle warm breezes once again.
