It felt like a huge wooden box had landed on my chest. The box, etched with memories of pain, heartache, deep sadness. Memories from long long ago and some only a few years back. Memories of which I hadn't thought about since, perhaps, not too long after they happened. The memories not necessarily linked but all seemingly causing such an intensity of ache in this moment.

This whirlwind of pain swirling around me, feels like it might last forever. Creating more of a storm, the box ripping apart, my heart feeling like it's been wrung out, an ocean filling to the brim.

Until, I start to gently float to the surface. The endless uncontrollable sobbing easing to a weep and then into nothingness.

What just happened. What did that all mean.

The hard heavy feeling constricting my breath seems to have gotten lighter, free-er. I ache with numbness. The pillow sodden. My puffy eyes double in size. My cheeks mottled with redness.

But I focus on the light numbness.