But something inside of me is fighting so very hard against it, forcing me to a halt. Forcing me into a heap. A surrendering heap of tangled and twisted pain. I feel raw. I feel sore. I feel it all and I vow to press pause on my mind. On those tangling, conflicting, curious, painful thoughts.
I just want to feel it right now. Today, I want to feel it. Tomorrow or perhaps the day after or even after that, that's when I shall unpause. That is when I will allow myself to explore, unpack, unravel a little or all of it.
But today. I need to just feel.
