Lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

Old music from over 12 years ago plays in my ears from my ancient ipod.

Hitting a nostalgic point.

Hearing songs that made me feel things then, making me feel things now.

Life seemed much more exciting then.

Going to gigs, dancing to loud music.

Wearing glitter under my eyes, badges on my cardigans.

Drinking out of bottles from straws.

A different hair colour each month.

The nights out, with friends were colourful and happy.

But the nights in, alone were dark and heavy and so very sad. Many nights were spent curled in bed crying my pillow wet.

Life seemed exciting, but underneath the colourful jacket it was so very difficult.

Past me had a lot of heavy on her shoulders.

Fast forward back to now, lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and life feels heavy. Like it did back then.

But it takes a realisation or a message from past me to nudge me awake.

It's time to look after present me.

I give her a big squeeze. I change the song.

And we surrender to the pain and we do something to ease it.

It's time to reach out. Just like I did back then.

It is okay to be vulnerable. It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to ask for help.

You are more than you think you deserve.

And you are so very brave.