One version of me could say "yes, I'm okay" and the other version could break down entirely and let the words and the feelings pour right out.
But sometimes it is just easier to avoid the question entirely.
Because it hurts to be both versions. I can't even bring myself to pretend anymore, to lie and say I'm okay.
Because I'm not.
But to open up and show my fragile and vulnerable soft self is scary and I almost always wished I had never spoken a word every time that I did.
But this is a vital wave to ride right now. I think.
If I make it through this part, becoming stronger will follow suit. Even just a little.
